Like many of you, maybe all, I'm sometimes struggling to keep up with taking care of the kids, work, love-life, studies, social life and myself. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I wrote down the following order of importance for mysels and found out I didn't even put in the love life. I love my man! I really really do, he's the best. I felt like I'm a bad lover, but to be honest [and try to make me feel less bad about it] let's just say I try to fit that in with all points and everyday, because I believe true love is the sweet moment you look at each other on a daily basis and see what a great life you have managed to bring together. And the accidental date nights. (Equals eating cake as a normal part of your day, I need to plan one again.)
Reading up on how other people plan and organize their lives is good. It's like being in the sauna and seeing all different body-types, every one has their good sides and a lot of bad ones and after seeing it, you feel better about your own. Now let me make you feel very competent by taking you through my list, counting down from 6 to 1.
6. Cleaning. I don't even want to talk about it really. I hate it. Especially since it IS some kind of priority, if you don't want to end up on some reality-help-tv show about families that need help. My way of dealing with it, though... Not good, it's moslty the let's procrastinate- approach. Or go shopping. Or just take the kids to the park for a picnic so they can run and I can justify having no time for cleaning.
5. Social life. I'm ashamed to admit it, but my social life depends on a lot of other things. I have a few good friends that I love to hang out with, but don't need to every week. I love spontaneous stuff and I hate appointments longer than 3 weeks upfront. I guess I'm not the best friend. But I'll love you from a distance though:) and when someone calls for help I'll make you nr. 1 on this list.
4. Who? Oh right.. Me. The one that has been needing to get herself to the hairdresser for 5 weeks. The one who's been wanting to work out for the same amount of time. But yes, I do put myself before a social life. Or I try. I'm no narcissist, I love my friends, I'm just socially awkward and love being alone.
3. Studies or blog. It's stuff I actually like, but need to make time I don't always have. It's getting ready for it, looking at it differently, reading up on news, procrastinating (this is the time nr. 6 might actually happen!) and finally getting in to it and really start writing. By that time some kid is bound to be buggin me with questions like "how are shark able to breath" and "what is the difference between fungus and bacteria?" Gone with the concentration.
2. Work. It's essential. I want to be good at what I do. I just can't stand the idea of slacking at my work. When I see the icon of mails on my phone reach a certain number I get extremely obsessed. I can't let it go. Screw you Elsa, I can't!
1. Kids come first. Easy. Easier said. You see, kids come first doesn't always mean it's in their best interest. The kids are hungry and I'm right in the middle of rewriting a difficult email? Or we need groceries and both kids are dead tired? I feed them sandwiches with Nutella and turn on the TV. I love Nutella and TV. Even if you say you never feed them crap and use the screens to get some sense of rest, I don't believe it. But if you think that it sucks, you can always come over and try this while wearing my shoes. ANYtime. You'll probably proof me wrong, but I'll have a day at the sauna. How do moms of 5 kids do this? I haven't the faintest idea. And I don't want to try. The world doesn't need more messed-up people. I think 2 is just enough for me to not raise future reality tv-show material.
Let's give you an idea of the incompetence I portray any given day trying to take care and do work at the same time; I start with answering my email. Kids get in my bed. Then get coffee. Kids are hungry. Feed kids. Try to think of what I want to eat. O yes... Wait, kids are thirsty, of course. Even though I've been making sandwiches for 7 years, I still don't see that coming. Warre lost his green dino (he has 5247 different green ones) and starts crying because I'm not helping him look. He hasn't moved an inch and has just been lying on a floor. But he says he has looked EVERYWHERE and he wants another mommy because I am the bad mommy who doesn't go looking for it. I tell him I'll put myself on eBay. He says 'ok', mmm, not the reaction I wanted. I go looking for it. Girl is bored. Wants me to take her to the 'big hill' for skateboarding. I need time to answer that mail. I've opened it and read it, so if I don't answer now, I'll forget all about it (thank you hormones).
We need groceries. Warre doesn't want to wear shoes, because they hurt his elbow or maybe his teeth Girl is still bored. Wants to stay home drawing. Finally gets up. Wants the front seat. Seats need to get switched. Warre is screaming the car stinks. We take 15 minutes to get in the car. But wait, here comes a rare social moment: It's the neighbor. Hi! (She is wearing a dress! And shoes with no chocolate stains on them... I need a dress!) I let the kids buy stuff we don't need, so they will move on. I need coffee. I get free supermaket coffee. Check! I did something for myself. We get home, Warre throws his jacket and shoes on the floor. I pick it up and take his dirty plate to the kitchen and tell him he should have done it himself. He asks me when I'm getting myself on eBay. Enough cleaning for today, time to cook! I make Nutella sandwiches with chocolate drink and turn on the TV. Check. I go answer that email.
Of course some days are better. They eat veggies perhaps. Or kids are not home and I actually clean something. And very often Warre tells me, out of the blue; "you are the bestest mom, and you are the sweetest too." It's why I take all the abuse;)
ps: I have no shares in Nutella. We also eat other stuff. Like chocolate bars and such.